Arrivederci Stati Uniti

As I leave the good ol' U.S. of A., I just hope that everyone who knows me well knows that I plan to fully embrace "Euro-ness." Not only have I already purchased a few V-neck t-shirts, a European bathing suit (a.k.a. a speedo), and plan to purchase some ridiculous Euro shades when I get there but I also fully plan to rock my new found "Euro-ness" when I get back to the states for at least a little while. For instance, I will likely rock a speedo for one of the days during my friend's bachelor party in Vegas (I know you guys are excited).

I do have a couple of questions about Europe that don't need to be answered but might help you all become more intimate with where my mind is right now.

First, do Europeans make any music besides techno? I know that they actually do, but I can't picture it. I am imagining and hoping for a lot of techno music.

Second, does it hurt to get waxed? Ja says that its cheap over there and rocking a speedo, while looking like Austin Powers is well, looking like Austin Powers... I just hope that I don't bleed too much. "Kelly Clarkson!" --40 Yr Old Virgin

Third, why don't more people die of dehydration in Italy? I have heard a lot of talk about not serving water and generally not drinking water. How does that work? Is wine, without all the preservatives, really a legitimate substitute for water?

Fourth, am I really going to be able to compile 35 pages of scholarly writing in 4 weeks while I am in Italy? HAHAHA! Its actually more like 35 pages in 2 weeks but whatever. Thats like the difference between 101 F weather and 115 F weather... both hot as hell and you can't tell me that you can really tell the difference.

Fifth, is that bidet use article I posted accurate and will I use a bidet more than once? I suppose that if I really do decide to embrace "Euro-ness," not only do I have to but I also have to get one installed in my apartment when I return (I know you can't just renovate an apartment, duh).

I am REALLY excited. However, I will miss you all especially you Ness! Look for pictures and stories of our European adventure. It will be a blast for us and should be entertaining for you all.

Sandstorm running through my head...