.....had a great and unnecessarily personal discussion about religion and faith over a few pints!
Keep in mind, when reading our posts, to add NINE hours to the post time, and this is when we are posting...IE, right now it will post at almost 1145AM Pacific Time....when it is really 845PM here!
happy friday!!
your sons, friends, brothers, and whatever else you want to call us !!
Friday, May 16
WE ARE ALIVE!!!!
we are here, we are alive and we are loving it...
this keyboard is weird at the hostel, so i apologize for lack of caps
i will write more tomorrow when we get to florence, there is no wireless internet here, so i have to use theirs at the hostel and it is expensive...so i will give you a one sentence rundown of all the major events...this has been a truly MESSED UP, MEMORABLE, and amazing trip so far!!!
I will post pictures and give the story details tomorrow...but, here is the outline...
ON THE PLANE RIDES HERE:
- guy infront of use telling us to 'give him a fucking break because we have been talking for four hours straight'
- taxing for 35 minutes between landing in heathrow and pulling into the gate
- free grey goose vodka samples at the heathrow airport :)
- getting told no more boozie on the second flight because were in the exit row and they needed us ready incase of an accident, and us explaining that we would be way more effective with another gin and tonic!
ONCE WE ARE HERE
- THEY LOST MY F$%%$&ING luggage!!!!! not some of it, every bag I had....BJ and Pat were fine, but mine did not make the transfer to Rome from London.....
- First Rome dinner.....free dessert, free bottle of champagne, free appetizers
- saw, colloseum, ancient ruins, vatican, spanish steps, tomb after tomb after tomb
- Pat put us on the wrong train from the airport to Rome and we ended up in a ghetto with the only random local named fredrico who took us into a sketchy place, but got us on to a bus that took us near our hostel
- bj stayed in the second night, pat and i did a bar crawl that is put on by this english student group....amazing night....pat blacked out, fell head over ass on the street, was relieving himself on the street corner when the italian police drove by and i had to talk with them and explain what was happening, then later avoiding another police car while pat took a nose dive into the sidewalk right in front of them ... they are not fans of public drunkeness
- tonights dinner was only okay, pat ordered a peperoni pizza and did not realize that a double p meant meat the single p means vegtable peppers..
- the money situation is going ..um mmm, okay... note to dad, keep an eye on your email!!
- tonight, we are still deciding, but likely party time....when in rome...
- we got free samples at a liquor store!! needless to say, we did not need anything after some early morning grappa
- the wine is cheap and awesome, 7 euro for a liter!!
- food is even better...
I WILL fill in these gaps with a full long story in the next day or so.
if you look at your intinerary you will see that tomorrow we head to florence!!! train at 1130, even if we party it up we should still make it....i am not driving the thing.
side note: bj crashed out last night, staying in and reading fight club....pat crashed out today, sleeping in until 3pm....lets see if I can keep up the current pace.....I may just fall dead in cinque terre!!!
PLEASE, if anyone is still considering swinging out and seeing us, please do! I know a couple of my friends who have the free time and the means to do it.......there is NO FREAKING reason to not. You know who you are...
You know you want some linguine alfredo with some gelato and lemoncello!!!
we miss you all.... (you know who you are) :)
.us.
this keyboard is weird at the hostel, so i apologize for lack of caps
i will write more tomorrow when we get to florence, there is no wireless internet here, so i have to use theirs at the hostel and it is expensive...so i will give you a one sentence rundown of all the major events...this has been a truly MESSED UP, MEMORABLE, and amazing trip so far!!!
I will post pictures and give the story details tomorrow...but, here is the outline...
ON THE PLANE RIDES HERE:
- guy infront of use telling us to 'give him a fucking break because we have been talking for four hours straight'
- taxing for 35 minutes between landing in heathrow and pulling into the gate
- free grey goose vodka samples at the heathrow airport :)
- getting told no more boozie on the second flight because were in the exit row and they needed us ready incase of an accident, and us explaining that we would be way more effective with another gin and tonic!
ONCE WE ARE HERE
- THEY LOST MY F$%%$&ING luggage!!!!! not some of it, every bag I had....BJ and Pat were fine, but mine did not make the transfer to Rome from London.....
- First Rome dinner.....free dessert, free bottle of champagne, free appetizers
- saw, colloseum, ancient ruins, vatican, spanish steps, tomb after tomb after tomb
- Pat put us on the wrong train from the airport to Rome and we ended up in a ghetto with the only random local named fredrico who took us into a sketchy place, but got us on to a bus that took us near our hostel
- bj stayed in the second night, pat and i did a bar crawl that is put on by this english student group....amazing night....pat blacked out, fell head over ass on the street, was relieving himself on the street corner when the italian police drove by and i had to talk with them and explain what was happening, then later avoiding another police car while pat took a nose dive into the sidewalk right in front of them ... they are not fans of public drunkeness
- tonights dinner was only okay, pat ordered a peperoni pizza and did not realize that a double p meant meat the single p means vegtable peppers..
- the money situation is going ..um mmm, okay... note to dad, keep an eye on your email!!
- tonight, we are still deciding, but likely party time....when in rome...
- we got free samples at a liquor store!! needless to say, we did not need anything after some early morning grappa
- the wine is cheap and awesome, 7 euro for a liter!!
- food is even better...
I WILL fill in these gaps with a full long story in the next day or so.
if you look at your intinerary you will see that tomorrow we head to florence!!! train at 1130, even if we party it up we should still make it....i am not driving the thing.
side note: bj crashed out last night, staying in and reading fight club....pat crashed out today, sleeping in until 3pm....lets see if I can keep up the current pace.....I may just fall dead in cinque terre!!!
PLEASE, if anyone is still considering swinging out and seeing us, please do! I know a couple of my friends who have the free time and the means to do it.......there is NO FREAKING reason to not. You know who you are...
You know you want some linguine alfredo with some gelato and lemoncello!!!
we miss you all.... (you know who you are) :)
.us.
Tuesday, May 13
Clarification on BJ's post ;)
Thanks to the wonders of TIME STAMPING on digital cameras....
BJ's first beer was at 5:45PM and only 1 hour and 15 minutes later (during that time we ate bbq) at 7PM is when the game was put down....and Jill was drinking during that time too!
:) The Lesbian schooled you!
WE DEPART AT 6:45PM today.....land in LONDON at 11:45AM their time (6 hours ahead of us, so about 5:45AM PST)
We then head to Rome after a few hour lay over/sleep! Where we land in Rome at 5:45PM Italy time, which is 11:45AMPST. So we have about 17 hours (ish) of traveling!!
And we're off
BJ's first beer was at 5:45PM and only 1 hour and 15 minutes later (during that time we ate bbq) at 7PM is when the game was put down....and Jill was drinking during that time too!
:) The Lesbian schooled you!
WE DEPART AT 6:45PM today.....land in LONDON at 11:45AM their time (6 hours ahead of us, so about 5:45AM PST)
We then head to Rome after a few hour lay over/sleep! Where we land in Rome at 5:45PM Italy time, which is 11:45AMPST. So we have about 17 hours (ish) of traveling!!
And we're off
My Turn
In my defense, first of all that was after about 3 hours of heavy drinking.
Secondly, I am moderately afraid of the bidet and that it will turn into an enema if we can't figure out the pressure settings.
I'm excited and sure I'm forgetting things. This would be an epic trip if it weren't for the four weeks of law school that is interspersed amongst our adventures. Should be a good time.
Secondly, I am moderately afraid of the bidet and that it will turn into an enema if we can't figure out the pressure settings.
I'm excited and sure I'm forgetting things. This would be an epic trip if it weren't for the four weeks of law school that is interspersed amongst our adventures. Should be a good time.
Aside from the Trip...
We are like 18 hours away from take off, but I had to add this for everyone's viewing pleasure, I like to call it the EPIC BATTLE!!
This is the Epic Battle of masculinity between a Heterosexual Male and a Homosexual Female! Lesbian v. Straight
Jill v. BJ!!
And what event determines this??? Why, FLIP CUP of course!
Two things that straight men and lesbians hold dear are tested
- Precise Finger Control
- Beer Chugging
How do you play you ask?
You line up a row of red cups with a certain amount of beer in them, you drink the beer, set the cup back down normal side up, then by using your fingers you FLICK the cup and try to FLIP it so it lands upside down. Then you move down to the next beer. Normally the game is done team versus team where when you do your cup and flip it, the person next to you goes...so it is like a relay race. (even though in this video, I thought they were only doing one cup, but I recover well) :)
SOOO...here we have it! Two of my best law school friends...on the one side, Lesbian & House Owner JILL DUGGAN in the other corner, Hetero & in Need of a Haircut BRIAN JOHNSON!!!!!
Who will proclaim the title of most masculine??????
The epic battle took place at my Belated Birthday BBQ at Jill's house!
Click below!
(PS, I know this is not trip related, but seriously...you will get enough trip posts) :)
This is the Epic Battle of masculinity between a Heterosexual Male and a Homosexual Female! Lesbian v. Straight
Jill v. BJ!!
And what event determines this??? Why, FLIP CUP of course!
Two things that straight men and lesbians hold dear are tested
- Precise Finger Control
- Beer Chugging
How do you play you ask?
You line up a row of red cups with a certain amount of beer in them, you drink the beer, set the cup back down normal side up, then by using your fingers you FLICK the cup and try to FLIP it so it lands upside down. Then you move down to the next beer. Normally the game is done team versus team where when you do your cup and flip it, the person next to you goes...so it is like a relay race. (even though in this video, I thought they were only doing one cup, but I recover well) :)
SOOO...here we have it! Two of my best law school friends...on the one side, Lesbian & House Owner JILL DUGGAN in the other corner, Hetero & in Need of a Haircut BRIAN JOHNSON!!!!!
Who will proclaim the title of most masculine??????
The epic battle took place at my Belated Birthday BBQ at Jill's house!
Click below!
(PS, I know this is not trip related, but seriously...you will get enough trip posts) :)
A Response To Pat's Post!
As of this time tomorrow we will be 5 hours (over halfway done) with the first leg of our flight...Seattle to London!! Probably been drunk at least once, taken a nap and have had a delicious airline meal!!
I would like to respond to Pat's post right below mine, as I encourage everyone else to do so :)
RE: Bidet
-You are obsessed with this thing!!! I told my buddy Marcus today that I am going as one for Halloween this year, just dressing in white and spitting water at people. I am concerned you (pat) are going to be disappointed with it, actually I am a little more concerned you are going to LOVE it!! Sean to Brian "Umm, where is Pat?" Brian to Sean "He went to the bathroom an hour ago and is still bidet-ing" Sean yelling "DAMN YOU BIDET!!"
RE: Europe only making Techno
-From my experience as a dance teacher and constantly searching for music, Europe mainly produces techno...but also some little group called the Beatles...don't forget BBMac & The Spice Girls. :)
RE: Wine Dehydration
- No
RE: Waxing
- You are Obsessed! **See my bidet post you hairy man**
:)
I got my speedo today, thought I was all cool because it was a Nike one, so it is really nice, but I put it on when I got back and it was actually really tasteful! I should have knew that, considering it is a nice brand and made for professional swimmers....but everything is tucked, pulled up and covered. :) Too bad Italy!!
I would like to respond to Pat's post right below mine, as I encourage everyone else to do so :)
RE: Bidet
-You are obsessed with this thing!!! I told my buddy Marcus today that I am going as one for Halloween this year, just dressing in white and spitting water at people. I am concerned you (pat) are going to be disappointed with it, actually I am a little more concerned you are going to LOVE it!! Sean to Brian "Umm, where is Pat?" Brian to Sean "He went to the bathroom an hour ago and is still bidet-ing" Sean yelling "DAMN YOU BIDET!!"
RE: Europe only making Techno
-From my experience as a dance teacher and constantly searching for music, Europe mainly produces techno...but also some little group called the Beatles...don't forget BBMac & The Spice Girls. :)
RE: Wine Dehydration
- No
RE: Waxing
- You are Obsessed! **See my bidet post you hairy man**
:)
I got my speedo today, thought I was all cool because it was a Nike one, so it is really nice, but I put it on when I got back and it was actually really tasteful! I should have knew that, considering it is a nice brand and made for professional swimmers....but everything is tucked, pulled up and covered. :) Too bad Italy!!
Monday, May 12
Arrivederci Stati Uniti
As I leave the good ol' U.S. of A., I just hope that everyone who knows me well knows that I plan to fully embrace "Euro-ness." Not only have I already purchased a few V-neck t-shirts, a European bathing suit (a.k.a. a speedo), and plan to purchase some ridiculous Euro shades when I get there but I also fully plan to rock my new found "Euro-ness" when I get back to the states for at least a little while. For instance, I will likely rock a speedo for one of the days during my friend's bachelor party in Vegas (I know you guys are excited).
I do have a couple of questions about Europe that don't need to be answered but might help you all become more intimate with where my mind is right now.
First, do Europeans make any music besides techno? I know that they actually do, but I can't picture it. I am imagining and hoping for a lot of techno music.
Second, does it hurt to get waxed? Ja says that its cheap over there and rocking a speedo, while looking like Austin Powers is well, looking like Austin Powers... I just hope that I don't bleed too much. "Kelly Clarkson!" --40 Yr Old Virgin
Third, why don't more people die of dehydration in Italy? I have heard a lot of talk about not serving water and generally not drinking water. How does that work? Is wine, without all the preservatives, really a legitimate substitute for water?
Fourth, am I really going to be able to compile 35 pages of scholarly writing in 4 weeks while I am in Italy? HAHAHA! Its actually more like 35 pages in 2 weeks but whatever. Thats like the difference between 101 F weather and 115 F weather... both hot as hell and you can't tell me that you can really tell the difference.
Fifth, is that bidet use article I posted accurate and will I use a bidet more than once? I suppose that if I really do decide to embrace "Euro-ness," not only do I have to but I also have to get one installed in my apartment when I return (I know you can't just renovate an apartment, duh).
I am REALLY excited. However, I will miss you all especially you Ness! Look for pictures and stories of our European adventure. It will be a blast for us and should be entertaining for you all.
Sandstorm running through my head...
I do have a couple of questions about Europe that don't need to be answered but might help you all become more intimate with where my mind is right now.
First, do Europeans make any music besides techno? I know that they actually do, but I can't picture it. I am imagining and hoping for a lot of techno music.
Second, does it hurt to get waxed? Ja says that its cheap over there and rocking a speedo, while looking like Austin Powers is well, looking like Austin Powers... I just hope that I don't bleed too much. "Kelly Clarkson!" --40 Yr Old Virgin
Third, why don't more people die of dehydration in Italy? I have heard a lot of talk about not serving water and generally not drinking water. How does that work? Is wine, without all the preservatives, really a legitimate substitute for water?
Fourth, am I really going to be able to compile 35 pages of scholarly writing in 4 weeks while I am in Italy? HAHAHA! Its actually more like 35 pages in 2 weeks but whatever. Thats like the difference between 101 F weather and 115 F weather... both hot as hell and you can't tell me that you can really tell the difference.
Fifth, is that bidet use article I posted accurate and will I use a bidet more than once? I suppose that if I really do decide to embrace "Euro-ness," not only do I have to but I also have to get one installed in my apartment when I return (I know you can't just renovate an apartment, duh).
I am REALLY excited. However, I will miss you all especially you Ness! Look for pictures and stories of our European adventure. It will be a blast for us and should be entertaining for you all.
Sandstorm running through my head...
Day before tomorrow!
So, on MY agenda for today...
- Go to the bank, get 2,000 Euro
- Get an electricity outlet converter from Radio Shack
- Get my sunglasses fixed at lens crafters
- Get my Speedo :)
- Have Asian food for the last time for six weeks!
- Go to Nordstrom Rack and see if I can get some sandals and/or shorts for relatively cheap!
- ummm, figure out why I have no room in my backpack and duffel bag, and get rid of the crap I don't need
BJ and PAT are heading west today!! Spending the night at pat's tonight, heading to my house tomorrow midday, where my Dad will take us to the airport and bid us farewell.
As my Dad put it last night, this will be the most memorable trip we have ever taken, either for good reasons or bad! I hope they are for good reasons :) I was talking with my Grandma about it and was showing her how anal I have been by making a detailed itinerary, printing out and keeping a log of all our confirmation emails for all our flights and hotels we have booked, mapping everything out to perfection.....but I was talking with her and said that it would be sort of nice if some things did not go as planned, because that is where the memories are :)
okay, my friend marcus is here and we're off to run errands.
- Go to the bank, get 2,000 Euro
- Get an electricity outlet converter from Radio Shack
- Get my sunglasses fixed at lens crafters
- Get my Speedo :)
- Have Asian food for the last time for six weeks!
- Go to Nordstrom Rack and see if I can get some sandals and/or shorts for relatively cheap!
- ummm, figure out why I have no room in my backpack and duffel bag, and get rid of the crap I don't need
BJ and PAT are heading west today!! Spending the night at pat's tonight, heading to my house tomorrow midday, where my Dad will take us to the airport and bid us farewell.
As my Dad put it last night, this will be the most memorable trip we have ever taken, either for good reasons or bad! I hope they are for good reasons :) I was talking with my Grandma about it and was showing her how anal I have been by making a detailed itinerary, printing out and keeping a log of all our confirmation emails for all our flights and hotels we have booked, mapping everything out to perfection.....but I was talking with her and said that it would be sort of nice if some things did not go as planned, because that is where the memories are :)
okay, my friend marcus is here and we're off to run errands.
Sunday, May 11
Mom
I know I speak for my travel-mates when I take a Euro Trip Blog moment to say ...
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM, love you and thank you for everything you have done!!!!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM, love you and thank you for everything you have done!!!!
Saturday, May 10
This is crazy,,,,
I have all my Spokane stuff stored at Monica and Brooks Holland's place (Thanks again guys!)...all my stuff for seattle is packed and ready to go in my car tonight...my room is bare...I am making a little nest with blankets from the housemates for my bed tonight! Got a bottle of wine and am going to work on stuff for our trip.
Then I head home tomorrow morning, see the family for mothers day, Monday do last minute errands and say bye to friends, then Tuesday....TAKE OFF!!!!!! :)
pics from yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I head home tomorrow morning, see the family for mothers day, Monday do last minute errands and say bye to friends, then Tuesday....TAKE OFF!!!!!! :)
pics from yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More fall out from last night!
So, to add to the craziness of last night, someone got 'sick' in Pat's laundry hamper... and probably the best story of the year ....
***Edit*** this story was removed by request
:(
hahaha, good news on my end, I didn't have my camera when I got home, but a good law school buddy Patrick McNulty had it and called me this morning to tell me :)
***Edit*** this story was removed by request
:(
hahaha, good news on my end, I didn't have my camera when I got home, but a good law school buddy Patrick McNulty had it and called me this morning to tell me :)
PS
Without getting into much detail, as I said earlier, I left relatively early from the bbq last night, (as did BJ), but I just got to talking to some people who stayed later...and apparently it was quite the PARTY TIME for everyone else :) Including the BBQ's host!
BTW, we're heading out in three days!!!!
It is sort of surreal to finally be actually packing my backpack for the trip
BTW, we're heading out in three days!!!!
It is sort of surreal to finally be actually packing my backpack for the trip
Party time!
So, last night we had our end of the year BBQ Bash at Pat's house. It was very fun, unfortunately Pat and his 'section' didn't get out until 4:30, but me, bj and my section were done at noon...so we filled the noon to 4:30 vacancy with some drinking! :)
So the bbq was much shorter for us...but! I got to bed real early and woke up at 7AM 100 percent :)
So yeah..had fun...Hey BJ..did you enjoy the party!?
That is a YES :)
So the bbq was much shorter for us...but! I got to bed real early and woke up at 7AM 100 percent :)
So yeah..had fun...Hey BJ..did you enjoy the party!?
That is a YES :)
Friday, May 9
Fin!!!
Last day of our first year is today!! :)
Also four days away from take off....
will write more later...likely after a little post-test partying!
Also four days away from take off....
will write more later...likely after a little post-test partying!
Thursday, May 8
Spicing things up!
Okay, well, this blog will obviously get more exciting once we leave....I may have been told by a particular lesbian tonight that it was a little boring....DAMN YOU JILL!
So, to spice things up, here is a joke that she loves to tell at parties, so now the punch line is ruined :)
This guy gets drunk at a bar and throws up on himself and is all upset about it...
He goes "Aw man, I have to go home to my wife like this, she will kill me!"
Another guy there says to him "this is what I do, I come home with 10 dollars in cash and just say that some guy puked on me at the bar and gave me 10 dollars to get my shirt cleaned"
So he goes home, stumbles in with a twenty dollar bill in his hand .. and his wife goes "What happened!?"
and he goes "This guy threw up on me at the bar and gave me 10 dollars to get my shirt cleaned"
and she responds "Well, why do you have twenty dollars?"
and he goes "He also crapped my pants!"
HA!
:)
Happy end of the week,,,,one last final!
So, to spice things up, here is a joke that she loves to tell at parties, so now the punch line is ruined :)
This guy gets drunk at a bar and throws up on himself and is all upset about it...
He goes "Aw man, I have to go home to my wife like this, she will kill me!"
Another guy there says to him "this is what I do, I come home with 10 dollars in cash and just say that some guy puked on me at the bar and gave me 10 dollars to get my shirt cleaned"
So he goes home, stumbles in with a twenty dollar bill in his hand .. and his wife goes "What happened!?"
and he goes "This guy threw up on me at the bar and gave me 10 dollars to get my shirt cleaned"
and she responds "Well, why do you have twenty dollars?"
and he goes "He also crapped my pants!"
HA!
:)
Happy end of the week,,,,one last final!
Countdown!
Wow....we take off in Five days!!! this is nuts!
Hard to get too pumped yet...big test tomorrow...Civil Procedures!!
9AM for BJ and I, 1:30PM for Pat!
Then a little celebrating....then packing, storage, heading to seattle, mothers day, flying to Italy... :)
Hard to get too pumped yet...big test tomorrow...Civil Procedures!!
9AM for BJ and I, 1:30PM for Pat!
Then a little celebrating....then packing, storage, heading to seattle, mothers day, flying to Italy... :)
Wednesday, May 7
** New Poll **
So the three of us have been going back and forth on this one! There are a few "American" bars in the more popular places we are going...Rome..Amsterdam..Munich.. and BJ wanted to hit some of them up, Pat and I both think that is a stupid idea....
:)
Sort of a dumb poll, but none-the-less.. it is there!
(Also...I posted twice on here, and subsequently pushed down Pat's post on bidet usage and etiquette, if you didn't read it...vote on the poll on the right and then scroll down and see it...I'm excited)
:)
Sort of a dumb poll, but none-the-less.. it is there!
(Also...I posted twice on here, and subsequently pushed down Pat's post on bidet usage and etiquette, if you didn't read it...vote on the poll on the right and then scroll down and see it...I'm excited)
Good Friends!
I just wanted to shout out to my travel buddies, BJ and Pat...
This birthday sort of sucked because of finals time and not being with my family BUT we had a pretty kick-ass bbq last night and I wanted to thank Pat for the nice bottle of Grey Goose vodka that will help me round out my last week in Spokane!
And also thank BJ for taking me out for a couple beers and buying me lunch on my actual birthday, even though we had a final the following day!
:) Thanks guys...next birthday???? BJ's!! Where??? Cinque Terra!!
What are we getting him??? Drunk!!! :) :)
Hey...next week at this time...we will be ROLLING in from the Rome Nightlife :)
*sigh*
Okay, back to studying for Friday's final Final! :)
This birthday sort of sucked because of finals time and not being with my family BUT we had a pretty kick-ass bbq last night and I wanted to thank Pat for the nice bottle of Grey Goose vodka that will help me round out my last week in Spokane!
And also thank BJ for taking me out for a couple beers and buying me lunch on my actual birthday, even though we had a final the following day!
:) Thanks guys...next birthday???? BJ's!! Where??? Cinque Terra!!
What are we getting him??? Drunk!!! :) :)
Hey...next week at this time...we will be ROLLING in from the Rome Nightlife :)
*sigh*
Okay, back to studying for Friday's final Final! :)
Exactly What I've Been Looking For: How to Use a Bidet
Chances are, if you're traveling through Europe, Latin America, East Asia, or the Middle East, you'll eventually encounter a bidet in the bathroom. It's traditionally a basin near the toilet that's used to clean the genitals and anal area after using the toilet or whenever a "freshening up" is needed. While your first encounter with a bidet can be a little daunting, they are actually very simple (and hygienic) to use.Steps
1. Use the toilet first. The purpose of the bidet is to help clean off after toilet use. While some people believe that using a bidet is a hygienic substitute for toilet paper, many choose to use both.
2. Straddle the bidet. On most standalone bidets you can either face the bidet's water controls or you can face away from them, as you would on a toilet. It is easier to control the flow and temperature of the water if you face the controls, but if you are wearing pants you will generally need to remove them in order to straddle the bidet in this manner. There are a variety of bidet designs, so the configuration of the jets and the area of your body that you wish to clean may dictate which way you need to face.
3. Adjust the temperature and jet strengths for comfort. If the bidet has both hot and cold water controls, start by turning on the hot water. Once it's hot, add the cold water until you have a comfortable temperature. (In normally hot climates, such as the middle east, you should start with the cold water. The water will not need time to heat up and you may end up burning sensitive areas if you turn the hot water on first.)
1. Use the toilet first. The purpose of the bidet is to help clean off after toilet use. While some people believe that using a bidet is a hygienic substitute for toilet paper, many choose to use both.
2. Straddle the bidet. On most standalone bidets you can either face the bidet's water controls or you can face away from them, as you would on a toilet. It is easier to control the flow and temperature of the water if you face the controls, but if you are wearing pants you will generally need to remove them in order to straddle the bidet in this manner. There are a variety of bidet designs, so the configuration of the jets and the area of your body that you wish to clean may dictate which way you need to face.
3. Adjust the temperature and jet strengths for comfort. If the bidet has both hot and cold water controls, start by turning on the hot water. Once it's hot, add the cold water until you have a comfortable temperature. (In normally hot climates, such as the middle east, you should start with the cold water. The water will not need time to heat up and you may end up burning sensitive areas if you turn the hot water on first.)
* Be very careful when turning on the water, as many bidets can produce a very high jet of water with only a slight turn of the control.
* Be sure that you know where the water will be coming from ahead of time, or you could end up with a surprise shower.
* You may find that you need to hold the control to keep the jets on.
* Be sure that you know where the water will be coming from ahead of time, or you could end up with a surprise shower.
* You may find that you need to hold the control to keep the jets on.
4. Position yourself over the water jets so that the jets hit the desired area. For some bidets you can continue to hover above the bidet or you can sit down on it. Note that most bidets don't have seats, but are still meant to be sat upon; you just sit directly on the rim. Some bidets do not have jets, but instead simply have a faucet that fills the basin, as you would fill a sink basin.
5. Clean anal area and/or genitals. Generally, you simply allow the jets to clean the desired area without having to use your hands. If there are no jets, you will need to use your hands to assist in bathing. You can use soap if you want to, applying it just as you would in the shower.
6. Dry your skin. Some bidets have a built-in air dryer that you can use. For others, simply pat dry with toilet paper. Many bidets have a towel on a ring positioned next to the bidet, but this is often intended for drying hands.
7. Rinse out the bidet. Once you are off the bidet, run the jets at very low pressure for a few seconds to rinse the basin and keep the bidet fresh.
8. Wash your hands with soap and water, as you would any time after using the toilet.
6. Dry your skin. Some bidets have a built-in air dryer that you can use. For others, simply pat dry with toilet paper. Many bidets have a towel on a ring positioned next to the bidet, but this is often intended for drying hands.
7. Rinse out the bidet. Once you are off the bidet, run the jets at very low pressure for a few seconds to rinse the basin and keep the bidet fresh.
8. Wash your hands with soap and water, as you would any time after using the toilet.
WARNINGS
* Dry wipe at least once after having a bowel movement and before using the bidet. Excess fecal matter may clog the bidet drain. This can be quite disgusting for someone who uses the bidet after you.
* Be very careful adjusting the temperature and pressure on the bidet. You want to avoid scalding sensitive skin, and high pressure can be very irritating.
* Drinking from a bidet is not recommended. The stream can ricochet off a soiled area and become contaminated.
* If you are in an area with questionable water supply sanitation, refrain from using bidet on broken/irritated skin. Your skin is only an adequate barrier against infection when intact.
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